The Corpus Callosum Collection of Poetry: Part One

I Pause But Life Goes On Anyway: Poem

2011-12-08T14:23:00.001-08:00

I Pause But Life Goes On Anyway

Whether the road is straight or narrow; at times
The slope is steep, and breathless, I pause: existence, this moment now;

But life goes on anyway.

My existence is confined to this moment now;
Imagination could not, boundless though it seemed
Make walls tumble down or frontiers to crumble.

I wait. I wait for life’s answers. But how many questions
Come to mind? Who can say?
Is there a tomorrow after today?

In instants of doubt, hesitation and haste
And not knowing right and wrong
And the ease of tranquil mind;

I wanted to leave this existence far behind.
Ah, but then I paused and let life take me by the hand.
I, who so often wanted to understand.

Copyright: Rani Turton

So Ordinary

2011-04-24T15:37:00.000-07:00

So Ordinary

I am so ordinary; you don't have to look up
And smile: not I the cynosure of all eyes.
Words I can write, but not speak
There are a million stars in the skies.

I am so ordinary, so very ordinary.
You won't even believe I could be me.
I live and give, even forgive.
I guess that's just me.

I do not have special talents , none.
I am just a very ordinary entity
I wished I was the pink cloud in the sky
Just to be me.

I am the lost, lonely one.
I think and then I become.
Just for now I warm myself
In the heat of the golden sun.

Copyright: Rani Turton

I Hear Your Voice

2011-04-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

I Hear Your Voice

I hear your voice, despite absence and distance;

Amongst clear skies, cloudy days, dark nights.

I wake up from fogged dreams:

And even then it seems

As if you are standing there.

I have a secret known to none.

I can listen to silence and the silence

Speaks in a languages only I know.

I can hear it's words distinctly;

Decipher what it is saying to me now.

Often in the silence, I can hear your voice

Clearly, as when you walked by my side:

Ah, how lonely is the yearning heart

How fatigued the soul when it is tired.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Meanings And Definitions: Poem

2011-02-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

Meanings And Definitons

I hear the world tapping at my window pane
Like urgent rain
Unwordly wordlessness. Bereft, undone
Empty, a shell the mind has become

Warm embrace, the touch of hands
Don't turn away thus;
Insipid wordlessness. Come back now
The sky speaks to the lake below.

Textual definitions are all very fine. Where do emotions hide?
Deep, deep inside.
How can you lock your feelings inside?
The body calls out your name and then tries to hide.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Forget Me: Poem

2011-01-27T10:27:00.000-08:00

Forget Me

Now that yesterday's pages have been turned,
Rustling, fluttering,
Flown far away
Now that those people have gone, far away
Voices have faded and destiny with sure fingers
Has traced other routes, other paths
Forget me.

The years have traced lines on faces,
Has touched with grey dark hair;
But the souvenir of those far-off places
Are the memories that are left to share.

Often I had wondered, some paths I could not tread
If I dreamt; sometimes the voices were so real
More real than the people I passed on the street
More real to me than the cold, the blazing heat.
Forget me.
Now the year has passed onto spring.
The trees have won back their leaves.
Roses bloom; the rivers swell with rain
Forget me, I cannot bear to remain your eternal pain.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Wandering And Wondering: Poem

2011-01-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

Wanderng And Wondering

Wandering from here to there and then there to there.
From being a being, thinking, feeling
A wanderer from here to there
From somewhere to anywhere.

The earth's dangers and daggers
Have often been planted
But the wanderer, from place to place
Has a heart that has been transplanted

With limbs that often can barely move
Tired, fatigued and hungering for love
Wandering, wondering, whatever and however
And trying not to feel too bad

Wandering and wondering,
Stumbling, befuddled, blundering
For reasons that are often fugitive
To live, to love, or to simply survive.

Copyright: Rani Turton

He's Older Now: Poem

2010-12-30T10:45:00.000-08:00

He's Older Now

He's older now, his hair touched with grey
I wander in these streets everyday
Memory-laden; I wonder who and why
Whomsoever deemed life should
Turn out this way.

He's older now; I hope and pray
He finally has found his way;
Never like the others, never convention-prone,
His voice, like velvet caresses touched my senses
Knocked down all my fragile defenses

His thick dark hair, flying in the breeze
Seemed only to tease
And when his eyes --
Ah! his eyes touched my skin
Smouldering fires burned within

He's older now, or so it seems
Wiser now, this living piece of my dreams;
Not near my defenses will I allow
Him with sensitive fingers rekindle
This longing, passionate regret.

Copyright: Rani Turton

None, Nowhere, Nothing: Poem

2010-12-15T02:50:00.000-08:00

Photo: R.T

None, Nothing, Nowhere

None, nowhere, nothing
Can make me forget except
Complete extinction;
None, nowhere, nothing
Can make my heart sing,
My body's blood flow
In complete adequation
With beliefs, trust, life itself.

I scribbled a few lines today
For you, who read, and who holds my soul
And all it contains; and who may one day realise
That this verse was quite simply love in disguise.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Everyday, While We May: Poem

2010-12-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

Everyday, While We May

To watch the trailing rose on stone walls
Dew on flowers, a resting bird on tree
To listen to the wind, feel the rain,
Everyday, while we may

The sun with it's golden beams
Warms the flesh yet alive
Stars that glisten and shine
Bread, that the soul may dine;
While we may.

While we may, blood and bone
Skin, touch, tears and pain;
Remind us that each and every cell
Lives, and then hears the knell.

Copyright: Rani Turton

This Emptiness Within: Poem

2010-12-02T06:34:00.000-08:00

This Emptiness Within

This emptiness within, an utter stillness that could,
Would, should remain transfixed by eternity

Not a sunyatian stillness not the perfect void
A void, no, rather devoid
Not a perfect vacumn not even the space
To fill up a space that

Silences and stillness from analysis
Springs nought; not the naught but the knot
And the stillness and the silence in empty hearts
As far from perfection as existence
As far from existence as perfection
From where perfection springs
From the depth of the naughts

This emptiness within, then as still
As far from perfection's existence
As from perfecting existence

Transcends and permeates the fickle uneasy mind
Leaving mind and thought and emotion far, far behind.

Copyright 2008 Rani Turton

Consolation, In Doubt: Poem

2010-11-29T10:09:00.001-08:00

CONSOLATION, IN DOUBT

Consolation, in doubt
Is all I want; all I want when I ask
For reassurance today.

Apt are the times; the times are apt.
In intense solitude
The light shines.

The road is lit by lamps
The moon has a halo
The mind quietly ponders.

Consolation, in doubt,
Comes when least expected.
And then solitude smiles.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Alas Alone Am I : Poem

2010-11-24T06:20:00.001-08:00

ALAS ALONE AM I
.

As despair weaves a cocoon around my shadow
Alas, alone am I with my despair.
I had waited for these clouds to lift I had prayed
For these storms to cease
These deities I had tried to appease
.

By various diverse means; the day remained grey
The clouds did not move away.
.

Alas alone am I, and I tired, of constant
Conflictual battle; I do not have the necessary
Tools to open up wisdom's door;
Do not have the fierce strength to do that anymore.
.

There are cobwebs in my nightmares,
The night is peopled by strange shades;
Alas, alone am I, almost merging with the shadows
.

Dawn will come, I will walk in thy meadows.
.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Every Once In A While: Poem

2010-11-18T05:29:00.001-08:00

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE
.

All you need to know at this precise moment
All you need to know is that every once in a while
Life stands still, like moments before a summer storm
.

All you need to know, is that precisely
The rage and the elements have abated now
No questions asked and none to reply
.

That life is a melody that at times breaks
Off; that love is a passion that stop and begins
Bridges have to be spanned
.

That you come to me with love in your eyes
And I will one day reply; that you hold my hand
And life stands still every once in a while.
.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Poets In Their Melancholy: Poem

2010-10-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

Poets In Their Melancholy

Poets, with troubled lives and secret thoughts
Have often stood and looked this way
And in this half light, strong and secret
What they thought, nobody can say

As dusk fell, and windows would close
Some words from soft songs would drift in
And take root in the present; some lines
Would nestle in a stranger's heart and brain.

Poets, lost in their melancholy
Lost in the muddle of their lives
Weave verse and rhyme: and thus it is
That their work their lives suvives.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Whispers Into The Brick Wall: Poem

2010-10-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

WHISPERS INTO THE BRICK WALL

Who else will listen silently while I speak of my love for you
Who else will stand still while I whisper my secrets
Those deep, hidden secrets buried in my heart
Except this rough, brick wall
Standing so tough and so tall
While I whisper all I have to say;
Nobody would remain as stoic and immobile.
No, nobody could or would. I ,myself
Knowing myself so well, can hardly believe all
That I pour out into this ready wall’s ear
I , myself, can hardly listen to my own words
Speaking out my barely avowed hesitations
And uncommitted love’s crimes; I , myself softly touch
This rugged wall and it’s surface
As though it is the skin of my loved one’s face.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Whenever My Soul, Like A Shrunken Dream: Poem

2010-10-07T13:57:00.001-07:00

Whenever, My Soul Like A Shrunken Dream

Whenever, my soul like a shrunken dream
Wonders and waits with wasted breath
Destiny beckons on but the road is long
And at the end lies only, only death

Now and then a diamond in the dust
Sparkles with quiet passion
Blossoms colour my dreams
Life is far from all it seems

Paltry rhymes, simple songs, hasty verses
Coming from God knows where
And going on to rocky streams and a pebbled shore
Surely living meant far, far more.

Far away, waves crash in the misty cold
A flagging swimmer, a hallucinating teenager
A tired woman wait for their lives to unfold.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Blazing Suns Once Burnt Me: Poem

2010-09-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

BLAZING SUNS ONCE BLACKENED ME

Blazing suns once blackened me
My soul was bright
I watched the moon dancing
With the clouds at night

Cold winter wind bleached me
That was my misery
My soul became dark
A sad lonely destiny

I whispered and moaned
My life seemed thus sealed
My mind fled thither
Into wounds never healed

Copyright: Rani Turton

This Week, Empty Benches Beckon

2010-08-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

This Week, Empty Benches Beckon

This week, empty benches beckon
Speak to me of betrayal
Some trust that turned astray
Some feelings that walked away.

And thus comes the day
Of facing problems and solutions:
Of waiting it out and wanting
It all; of wanting it all.

I am the remnant of my dreams and aspirations.
I asked, received and fought.

There are weeks when empty benches beckon,
Beckon to trust gone astray.

Copyright: Rani Turton

A Clock, A Street, A Tower: Poem

2010-07-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

A CLOCK, A STREET, A TOWER

There is a clock on a city street
These pavings that have often known my feet
There is a clock, a street and a tower
That is the mystery of love's power.

That stones alone can intense emotion retain
That you can walk forlorn in the pouring rain
That, whatever may happen, years ahead
For me these streets will never, never be dead.

The pain in my heart stops me now:
My faltering steps even begin to slow;
The mist from these mountains stings;
Memories, moments, melancholy and things.

Now behold the time for resolutions
Time can often bring its own solutions;
How do I walk away when familiar voices call
Me back; let me sit on that stone bench and recall.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Talking To Nobody: Poem

2010-06-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

TALKING TO NOBODY

When the sun dips and bows goodbye
I, at the window, watching the cityscape,
Admiring the dusk
Talking to nobody.

A cosmic dance, unpatented
Patiently the sun prepares its solitary revolution
Or so it seems: the sun, the window and I
Talking to nobody.

Footsteps down below
The fundamental alliance between
The sun, the lonely one and I
Is that we excel, at this exquisite art of talking to

Nobody.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Fragile Hearts: Poem

2010-05-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

FRAGILE HEARTS

Fragile hearts, hearts that break
Do not harsh words and ruptures take

Fragile hearts that trust and beat
Trodden under uncaring feet

Hearts, like roses in the rain,
Scatter under the onslaught of pain.

Copyright: Rani Turton

The Days are So Long, My Love

2010-04-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

The Days Are So Long, My Love

The days are so long, my love. One has to wander from sunrise to sunset
And then comes the night.

Then comes the night: the hardest part of the day
The hours when the soul flies away.

To another realm: to wander and reflect
When the body tries to unifie the schism;

To leap over the chasm that divides
This world from the next and thus

Dawn to dawn, sunrise to sunrise
I mystify by moonlight

Some lines scrawled themselves onto
Crumpled white pages.

Some tears from tired eyes, there are methods
To comfort the tired body and mind

But not the anguished soul.
The days are so long, so long, my love.

Copyright: Rani Turton

I Spoke To Liberty: Poem

2010-04-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

I SPOKE TO LIBERTY

I spoke to liberty and liberty spoke to me
Asking softly, 'Do you really want to be free? '

I murmured to melancholy and melancholy said
' Why do all these thoughts go through your head? '

I asked for grace and grace touched my life
Saying, 'Quiet for now. Forget all your strife.'

Then I walked on alone. Touched to the bone.
The anger and the pain, washed by the rain
Dissolved as I wept.

Then, fortunately I slept.

I spoke to liberty and liberty spoke to me
Asking softly, 'Do you really want to be free? '

Copyright: Rani Turton

Sometimes When I Forget: Poem

2010-03-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes When I Forget

Sometimes when I forget
Where I am, where I will be tomorrow
Blessed memory can take me on it's wings far, far away.

When the pain gets too much
Pass my finger across the strings
The wooden body hums, the wooden body needs that much.

The flesh is weak but the mind,
Permits some delusions
The time for illusions has gone.

Sometimes when I forget
Where I am, where I began
Where and I am and what I've become
Insomuch
Where I can be in the long years to come.

Copyright: Rani Turton

A Mad Bird Was I: Poem

2010-03-18T03:39:00.000-07:00

A Mad Bird Was I

I walked down that lonely road
That sinuous, torturous bend
You know how I hated
The cold, the distance, my thoughts.

My thoughts flew back and forth
Like a mad bird blinded by the light
I was lost; I was lonely; I was in pain
A mad bird was I.

There was no way out of this blundering
Floundering directionless path to nowhere.
There was no way out and the how and the whys
Were the least of it all.

I was like that mad bird in full, haphazard flight.

Copyright: Rani Turton

A Clock, A Street, A Tower: Poem

2010-03-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

A Clock, A Street, A Tower

There is a clock on a city street
These pavings that have often known my feet
There is a clock, a street and a tower
That is the mystery of love's power.

That stones alone can intense emotion retain
That you can walk forlorn in the pouring rain
That, whatever may happen, years ahead
For me these streets will never, never be dead.

The pain in my heart stops me now:
My faltering steps even begin to slow;
The mist from these mountains stings;
Memories, moments, melancholy and things.

Now behold the time for resolutions
Time can often bring its own solutions;
How do I walk away when familiar voices call
Me back; let me sit on that stone bench and recall.

Copyright: Rani Turton

This Point In Time: Poem

2010-02-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

THIS POINT IN TIME

Then come to me with the breeze ruffling your hair
The setting sun in your eyes
The same blue as the sea and the skies

Then the whisper of your presence will tell me
You are not far
Strange thoughts will come to mind

That the sea is smooth tonight
That the harbour is full of light
That the cafés overlook the piers
That the rain will fall softly on already wet cheeks
And gentle waves slurp into the creeks

That waiting here is a fallacy
That I should be somewhere else at this point in time
That I should be somewhere else at this point in time.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Ideas, Ideals and Delusions: Poem

2010-01-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

Ideas, Ideals And Delusions

I have some notions of nothingness
I have some ideals of illusions
Into the abyss then with these thoughts
My ideas, ideals and delusions.

I can sweep away those cob-webbed dreams
Wipe clean every troublesome image
But nothing, nothing ever again
Can help me really turn the page

There are persistant and resistant matters
That will come back like a boomerang
Like a half-latched door in a tempest
That will continue to maddeningly bang

Away then and into the vast starry night
I will somehow continue to live;
My ideals of illusions, my dreams of delusions
Can also help to make me survive.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Artisan Of Words: Poem

2010-01-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

Artisan of Words

I am an artisan of words
Which I sculpt, chisel and fashion the way I can
I am a creator of worlds;
I pour my emotion into the poems I write.
I breathe life into them, blow them skywards
And finish them only when they sound right.

These remnants of thought without reason
Will remain on pages season after season
Long after I'm gone; when my task is done
The love, the longing, the pain
Will be evoked then by somebody else
Who in turn will remember and write again
To create another slow soft song
That people can read and draw into their hearts
Then pillowed by words, cushioned by dreams
My poems will ride high the moonbeams.

copyright: Rani Turton

The Poet As In Exile: Poem

2010-01-07T15:47:00.000-08:00

The Poet As In Exile

The mind moves, the way hands do
To touch a beloved's face; to feel within
The soul, the thoughts, the skin.

The mind, sometimes heavy, lacks the shine
Of the freshly polished vase
The mind, saddened by its exile
Tries to leave the poet behind.

The mental, the metal,the marital, the martial
Worlds seem to be in fusion;
And then ultimately comes
The anguish, the joy or the confusion.

Footsteps around the world;
Standing over the Seine
Clouds in the water, and nothing
To guide me even then.

Like any other poet in exile
Destiny seemed knotted like a rug
Persian-perfect and that thought,
That absurdity finally made me smile.

Copyright: Rani Turton

The Teacher Of All I Know: Poem

2010-01-06T13:54:00.000-08:00

THE TEACHER OF ALL I KNOW

Here alone with all I profess
A faith, a belief in some systems of thought
Professors and priests, mystics and bards
All were often one I confess.

There were some unlettered men
Who knew more than the savants, then
There were bards who could sing and swear
And find their way to your heart there.

There were wild poppies dancing
Wild horses prancing
The teacher of all I know
Came for a few seasons
Then went for his own benighted reasons.

There was life’s blood and show
The poetry and pain and pageantry's stream
Whirled around in a fevered dream
Life was what it did not seem
Thus taught the teacher of all I know.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Beloved: Poem

2010-01-05T13:15:00.000-08:00

BELOVED

I heard about you long before I saw your face;
I heard about your family, exploits, travel
They even said you played soft chords
On your guitar on moonless nights

Invited to your home, I expected to see
Someone extraordinary

I saw your hands first drawing aside the curtains
I saw your eyes then looking at me in silence
I saw your smile then and my poems became reality
We spoke about cities, countries, humanity

Beloved, don't share these moments with somebody else
Beloved, be gentle with my life
Beloved, leave me these instants of grace
And one day please let me touch your face
And say to you: Beloved.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Last Night I Dreamt, I Dreamt

2010-01-04T13:52:00.000-08:00

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT, I DREAMT

In those familiar corridors I saw you in your room
I saw your head bent over papers
When you raised your head and saw me
I dreamt I dreamt I saw
Those oft longed for smiles
You got up with that characteristic quick movement
You had worn that blue shirt I knew so well
You stood at the doorway smiling and said
Well, I thought you would never come back

I thought that it was a dream that I had wanted to dream
Then I realized it was a dream and that I had wanted to dream
That I had dreamt of being a protagonist in it
That in dreams I still have you
Real life took you away

Last night I dreamt, I dreamt
Of today, yesterday and eternity in your eyes

Copyright: Rani Turton

My Mind, in Blinding Light: Poem

2010-01-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

MY MIND, IN BLINDING LIGHT

Waits, waits, in a silence that is as heavy as pearls.

Waits for the lines and lanes of destiny to redefine
And refine; when the refined mind
Silently doubles and doubletalks itself out of rational thought;
Waits for the light to go, to disperse itself after the dark;
When the eyes can refocus and see
The difference between can and would be.

And destiny weaves her loom,
By blinding light or darkest gloom.

Copyright: Rani Turton

My Mind Has A Mind: Poem

2010-01-04T04:56:00.000-08:00

My Mind Has A Mind

A calm surface: a world within a world.
My mind, at times, turbulent, savage and contrary
Just at the sound of a simple word
Gallops like wild horses across the prairie.

Oft I longed for calm; for a magic balm
To protect me from various kinds of harm;
Oft I yearned for tenderness:
Life was a game of dice or chess.

Moved from space to space.
Tumbling and wasn't it humbling
Trying to find a minute space
In my mind's mind's universal place?

My mind told my mind
Don't leave me alone;
Life is long and my destiny unsigned;
My mind with my mind, then intertwined.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Tears, I Told You To Go Away

2010-01-01T15:11:00.000-08:00

Tears, I Told You To Go Away

I told you, tears, to go away
Not to remain so close to me everyday
To tell the trees and rocks who knew me
That I was as far away as eternity.

My tears were just rivulets of pain
A passion that need to fall like rain;
I could not speak out what I thought:
I could not seek out whom I sought.

My cheeks were wet as on a rainy day
But the sky cloudless, remained dry;
Tears, I told you to please go away
My ineluctable destiny is here to stay.

Copyright: Rani Turton

If I Should See You Again: Poem

2009-12-30T09:08:00.000-08:00

IF I SHOULD SEE YOU AGAIN

If I should see you again
Across some busy Parisian street
If I should see your face as I've longed to
For years, for so many years
Will I just stand there stupidly
My face wet with tears?

But wait, there's more to come.
I'll probably just stand and watch
You walking swiftly from sight.
If I could have my freedom and words-
And I no longer want to be so weak:
Then I would probably find my courage and speak.

Copyright: Rani Turton

The Psychology Of The Unsaid: Poem

2009-12-27T14:04:00.000-08:00

The Psychology of the Unsaid

Thoughts, untranslated, remained unsaid.
Was it because expression or emotion was dead?
Or was it really that all courage had fled?

Education has not the answer
On thoughts that remain unsaid;
Or the psychology of the unsaid world
Could probably change the world.

There were pauses, there were glances
And the words that spoke
Were the smokescreen for
Ordinary, unsuspecting folk.

Now, instinct, reason and lapsus
Are some more terms to discuss;
The unwritten is unwritten
The unspoken is yet hidden.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Silences: Poem

2009-12-22T04:23:00.000-08:00

SILENCES

I didn't know how to reply
When you said, You are more to me
Than all this;
I don't know why
My first thought was to lie
But do you know
I just wanted to lay down my head and cry.

The sun slanted through the windowpane
I looked at those hands sensitive and fine
I looked at everything
Pictures on the wall
So that the words wouldn't touch me at all

There are silences as thick as glassdoors
Transparent but solid
But when broken, can cause immense pain
So at four in the afternoon that day
I simply went away

Copyright: Rani Turton

Revelations, Sobering: Poem

2009-12-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

REVELATIONS, SOBERING

I was only one more pebble on the shore.
I was only one more star in the sky.
When the eternal wind, cosmic or terrestrial
Stellar or sober, blew, blew like the last call
I was the cosmic dust and the desert gloom

The drops of rain that splatter on city sidewalks
The waves that slowly claim the beaches
The lunar tides, the birds last songs
The time to come, the moments gone by.

Glimpse this instant of life
My window is the world
The bread I eat, the hand I hold,
The love in my eyes will tell the ocean's gaze
Life has to be lived with intensity
I am one with the world's density.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Solitude Singing: Poem

2009-12-14T03:29:00.000-08:00

Solitude, Singing

Being alone is knowing
That in in this solitary splendour
Solitude, stark and staring,
Solitude, singing a lullaby
Solitude, singing a dirge
Surrounded by so many sundry things;
Things seen and unseen
Factors known and unknown
Solitude singing softly, chanting without ranting
Solitude’s songs that sing of solemn things.
.
Silence singing golden songs
Silence healing ancient wrongs
If only silence could be
More than a memory
More than history
Silence can be more than words
Empty words echoing in an empty world
Echoing in empty valleys
Silence unspoken, unspoken, unbroken
Transfixed by time.
.
Rani Turton

Mysteries: Poem

2009-12-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

Mysteries

There is a mystery in living
When, how, for how long and why
No need to use complicated rhetorical arguments
The devil's advocate I can play indeed
But the end is always the same
Its almost as if our lifespans are a timed game.
We can hop from land to land
For reasons only we can understand
We can lament and weep
Until at the end we finally sleep

To sleep perchance to dream
As a great poet once wrote
In lifespans, life's cycles, in moments of oblivion
I even forgot all that I wrote
The great mystery was not action or living
The great question was extinction and annihilation.

To come back to the essential
I, Me and Myself
My small insignificant life
Could I even presume to be remembered
After the third generation, the fourth maybe?
And what was it's essentiality?
Wicks flame, flicker and glow
That is finally the way I will go.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Acquiesence: Poem

2009-12-12T15:21:00.000-08:00

Acquiescence

The questions you asked but to which I had no reply
But I wished I had, the replies to
The questions you had asked but never really asked
Remained in my life, murmuring every now and again
I thought of them amongst the debris of my life
I rephrased them and answered them in my heart
My soul had gone, every waking hour, to your door.
.
When I saw you years later I saw the same questions in your eyes
The surprise of it all was that my existence was just a pack of lies
Just a heap of rubble I had shifted this way and that
And tried to build an anorexic existence without substance,
Without even the framework of dreams.
.
Ask me now, before the year dies a little.
The fragility of this fate will quicken and burn
I will struggle to listen and to learn:
Ask me where meanings lie; ask me if I
Have any answers to give now, before goodbye.
Don't remind me of the past: I was different and not very wise
I was the uncertainty of the air, the sun, the skies
I was as constant as the sun, the planets and tides

If you had only known that; my battles with everyday
Were often in the middle of insomniac nights
I thought to die, but my blood surged strong.
I wanted to lie passively and wait for the sunrise
The moon rose, instead and this story went wrong.

Ask me now, I have answers to give.
Don't ask for explications my life is what I have
In my hands to give, before your eyes
I have the answers here, if you have the questions hence
In simpicity, in acquiescence..

Copyright: Rani Turton

A Mad Bird Was I: Poem

2009-12-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

A Mad Bird Was I

I walked down that lonely road
That sinuous, torturous bend
You know how I hated
The cold, the distance, my thoughts.
.
My thoughts flew back and forth
Like a mad bird blinded by the light
I was lost; I was lonely; I was in pain
A mad bird was I.

There was no way out of this blundering
Floundering directionless path to nowhere.
There was no way out and the how and the whys
Were the least of it all.
.
I was like that mad bird in full, haphazard flight.
.
Copyright: Rani Turton

Nets And Knots:Poem

2009-12-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

Nets And Knots

Nets and knots, knots and nets.

Away from the shore, away from land

Into the mist and sea

Living, living and trying to be.

I am not a knot in a net.

A knot I am not.

But, yet all I saught

Taught me naught.

Life was a lesson, a reason

A long way have I come.

Nets and knots

Knots and nets.

Away from what I wanted to be;

Just fishing on a lonely blue sea.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Broken Lives: Poem

2009-12-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

Broken Lives

There was her and you and me

All of us and him too:

There was life and strife and

Euphoria that rang true.

There was the eternal link

Between broken lives

A glance was often enough to make

Anybody understand.

We are those who should had been

We could have been

Now we follow another dream

To see and be seen.

Those with broken dreams

Invisible, transparent, often at ease with

Hypocrisy's social discourse.

Now, to let life run its fevered course,

Now, to gather and sift and try to understand

The whys of broken lives,

Strand by strand by strand.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Take This Day As Your Own: Poem

2009-12-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

Take This Day As Your Own

Take this day as your own

Trouble and pain loom large

The night brings no comfort

The dawn in silence turns mutely away.

Take this day, no questions asked

Reflecting, analysing and rehearsing

Won't bring you what you most desire

Peace, utter and absolute tranquillity.

Sunrise and rain

Tears and pain

Take this new day as your own

Believe, don't grieve

The seeds have been sown

All will be well

All will be well, my friend.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Storm In My Brain: Poem

2009-12-08T15:35:00.000-08:00

Storm in my Brain

Storm in my brain, no, not again

Suddenly the moment snapped

My life lay broken in my hands.

I yearned for the days

When the future was clear

I longed for the people

Who would listen and hear

All that I need now

Is to know when to stick

Pieces of life together again

Storm in my brain

That sad melody again.