If I Should See You Again: Poem

IF I SHOULD SEE YOU AGAIN

If I should see you again
Across some busy city street
If I should see your face as I've longed to
For years, for so many years
Will I just stand there stupidly
My face wet with tears?

But wait, there's more to come.
I'll probably just stand and watch
You walking swiftly from sight.
If I could have my freedom and words-
And I no longer want to be so weak:
Then I would probably find my courage and speak.

Copyright:  Rani Turton

The Psychology Of The Unsaid: Poem

The Psychology of the Unsaid

Thoughts, untranslated, remained unsaid.
Was it because expression or emotion was dead?
Or was it really that all courage had fled?

Education has not the answer
On thoughts that remain unsaid;
Or the psychology of the unsaid world
Could probably change the world.

There were pauses, there were glances
And the words that spoke
Were the smokescreen for
Ordinary, unsuspecting folk.

Now, instinct, reason and lapsus
Are some more terms to discuss;
The unwritten is unwritten
The unspoken is yet hidden.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Silences: Poem

SILENCES

I didn't know how to reply
When you said, You are more to me
Than all this;
I don't know why
My first thought was to lie
But do you know
I just wanted to lay down my head and cry.

The sun slanted through the windowpane
I looked at those hands sensitive and fine
I looked at everything
Pictures on the wall
So that the words wouldn't touch me at all

There are silences as thick as glassdoors
Transparent but solid
But when broken, can cause immense pain
So at four in the afternoon that day
I simply went away


Copyright: Rani Turton

Revelations, Sobering: Poem

REVELATIONS, SOBERING

I was only one more pebble on the shore.
I was only one more star in the sky.
When the eternal wind, cosmic or terrestrial
Stellar or sober, blew, blew like the last call
I was the cosmic dust and the desert gloom

The drops of rain that splatter on city sidewalks
The waves that slowly claim the beaches
The lunar tides, the birds last songs
The time to come, the moments gone by.

Glimpse this instant of life
My window is the world
The bread I eat, the hand I hold,
The love in my eyes will tell the ocean's gaze
Life has to be lived with intensity
I am one with the world's density.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Solitude Singing: Poem

Solitude, Singing

Being alone is knowing
That in in this solitary splendour
Solitude, stark and staring,
Solitude, singing a lullaby
Solitude, singing a dirge
Surrounded by so many sundry things;
Things seen and unseen
Factors known and unknown
Solitude singing softly, chanting without ranting
Solitude’s songs that sing of solemn things.
.
Silence singing golden songs
Silence healing ancient wrongs
If only silence could be
More than a memory
More than history
Silence can be more than words
Empty words echoing in an empty world
Echoing in empty valleys
Silence unspoken, unspoken, unbroken
Transfixed by time.
.
Rani Turton

Mysteries: Poem

Mysteries

There is a mystery in living
When, how, for how long and why
No need to use complicated rhetorical arguments
The devil's advocate I can play indeed
But the end is always the same
Its almost as if our lifespans are a timed game.
We can hop from land to land
For reasons only we can understand
We can lament and weep
Until at the end we finally sleep

To sleep perchance to dream
As a great poet once wrote
In lifespans, life's cycles, in moments of oblivion
I even forgot all that I wrote
The great mystery was not action or living
The great question was extinction and annihilation.

To come back to the essential
I, Me and Myself
My small insignificant life
Could I even presume to be remembered
After the third generation, the fourth maybe?
And what was it's essentiality?
Wicks flame, flicker and glow
That is finally the way I will go.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Acquiesence: Poem

Acquiescence


The questions you asked but to which I had no reply
But I wished I had, the replies to
The questions you had asked but never really asked
Remained in my life, murmuring every now and again
I thought of them amongst the debris of my life
I rephrased them and answered them in my heart
My soul had gone, every waking hour, to your door.
.
When I saw you years later I saw the same questions in your eyes
The surprise of it all was that my existence was just a pack of lies
Just a heap of rubble I had shifted this way and that
And tried to build an anorexic existence without substance,
Without even the framework of dreams.
.
Ask me now, before the year dies a little.
The fragility of this fate will quicken and burn
I will struggle to listen and to learn:
Ask me where meanings lie; ask me if I
Have any answers to give now, before goodbye.
Don't remind me of the past: I was different and not very wise
I was the uncertainty of the air, the sun, the skies
I was as constant as the sun, the planets and tides

If you had only known that; my battles with everyday
Were often in the middle of insomniac nights
I thought to die, but my blood surged strong.
I wanted to lie passively and wait for the sunrise
The moon rose, instead and this story went wrong.

Ask me now, I have answers to give.
Don't ask for explications my life is what I have
In my hands to give, before your eyes
I have the answers here, if you have the questions hence
In simpicity, in acquiescence..

Copyright: Rani Turton

A Mad Bird Was I: Poem

A Mad Bird Was I


I walked down that lonely road
That sinuous, torturous bend
You know how I hated
The cold, the distance, my thoughts.
.
My thoughts flew back and forth
Like a mad bird blinded by the light
I was lost; I was lonely; I was in pain
A mad bird was I.

There was no way out of this blundering
Floundering directionless path to nowhere.
There was no way out and the how and the whys
Were the least of it all.
.
I was like that mad bird in full, haphazard flight.
.
Copyright: Rani Turton

Nets And Knots:Poem

Nets And Knots

Nets and knots, knots and nets.

.

Away from the shore, away from land

Into the mist and sea

Living, living and trying to be.

.

I am not a knot in a net.

A knot I am not.

.

But, yet all I saught

Taught me naught.

Life was a lesson, a reason

A long way have I come.

.

Nets and knots

Knots and nets.

Away from what I wanted to be;

Just fishing on a lonely blue sea.

.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Broken Lives: Poem

.

Broken Lives

.

There was her and you and me

All of us and him too:

There was life and strife and

Euphoria that rang true.

.

There was the eternal link

Between broken lives

A glance was often enough to make

Anybody understand.

.

We are those who should had been

We could have been

Now we follow another dream

To see and be seen.

.

Those with broken dreams

Invisible, transparent, often at ease with

Hypocrisy's social discourse.

.

Now, to let life run its fevered course,

Now, to gather and sift and try to understand

The whys of broken lives,

Strand by strand by strand.

.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Take This Day As Your Own: Poem

Take This Day As Your Own

Take this day as your own

Trouble and pain loom large

The night brings no comfort

The dawn in silence turns mutely away.

.

Take this day, no questions asked

Reflecting, analysing and rehearsing

Won't bring you what you most desire

.

Peace, utter and absolute tranquillity.

.

Sunrise and rain

Tears and pain

Take this new day as your own

Believe, don't grieve

The seeds have been sown

.

All will be well

All will be well, my friend.

.

Copyright: Rani Turton

Storm In My Brain: Poem

Storm in my Brain

Storm in my brain, no, not again

Suddenly the moment snapped

My life lay broken in my hands.

.

I yearned for the days

When the future was clear

I longed for the people

Who would listen and hear

.

All that I need now

Is to know when to stick

Pieces of life together again

.

Storm in my brain

That sad melody again.

.

Copyright: Rani Turton